Random gripe with a side of self pity

So as usual, I'm crusing around Facebook today and it made me remember when I saw a cousin online. I won't name her, but I will say I had wanted to use her name in my daughter's name and now, I'm kind of glad I didn't.

I had tried to talk to her a while back, but she was busy which makes me wonder why she was on Facebook if she was so busy? I tried to talk to her about the possibility of us moving to California, but she didn't say a word about it. Now, I understand she said she was busy, but she has randomly commented on my older and younger sister's posts, so wtf?

Now for the self pity. I realize my cousins probably hate me because every time I have a spat with my mother, she tells her brothers and/or sisters what a horrible child I am (The tattoos made me do it) and I don't know if they talk to their kids, but even the cousins I grew up with have tried to talk down to me. Don't get me wrong, though. I love my mother.

So here's where I'm frustrated. I've been told I should talk to family that lives in California to get an idea of cost of living, etc but how can I ask anyone when they already have it in their heads that I'm immature and disrespectful?

I tried to talk to my Aunt, but she told me they had a bad prison in the town we'd be living in, which there isn't. It's a detention center for trustees, but we have one outside of San Angelo, so why is anyone comfortable living here? I was also told it's very expensive, despite the fact I was there in September and the last time my aunt was there was in the late 90's.

I get it.

Nobody wants me to move away but why not? Nobody comes to visit us. It's not like I think nobody cares or something. I just think we all have our own lives and we should not be guilted or scared into staying somewhere there is no future for our family.

I hope I'm not speaking too soon, but I am thinking more and more that I've made up my mind. And not based on anger.