California, plain and simple

So yeah, we're possibly moving to California. And yeah, I've done research. Have I said I'm done? No! So why treat me like I'm going into this with my eyes closed? I'm tired of the supposed horror stories from people who haven't been there in a decade or so. I'm tired of hearing statistics for a city I'm not even going to be living in. And I'm tired of having zero support.

There are those that are under the sadly mistaken impression that I need permission to do this. I'm tired of people telling me I'm making up scenarios to give myself permission to go. I'm tired of people telling me I don't have their permission. I don't need permission. I simply need support. Who will benefit from making me feel guilty for a decision I have to make to better the lifestyle of my family? Hint: It's nobody. Who benefits from hanging up on me when I try to talk about what may happen? Hint: Still nobody.

Truth be told, I have actually made up my mind. If certain conditions are met, then yes, we will be moving.

Will I be sad? Of course! In a perfect world, I could live near my family and Mat could live near his and we'd all live close by and in a huge house with no bills and a car that works. But I'm punishing my family for the sake of my inability to loosen the apron strings. No one ever said they *had* to be cut.

So please. Stop with the drama. Stop with the worst case scenarios. I'm not living one now, but we're on our way. Every 2 weeks, we are at $0 before the next paycheck goes in. Every year at tax time we use every penny we get to catch up on bills.

Everyone is so quick to tell us what not to do. How about for a change, tell us what we CAN do.

Welcoming myself back!

Never say I didn't warn you all that I'm terrible at blogging.

...I didn't warn anyone?

Oh...well I am. And let me tell you why.

March 24, 2008 I have a feeling I need to take a pregnancy test (after enjoying a nice amount of alcohol in San Antonio) and low and behold, it's positive! I get my mother to take me to Walmart at 4am to buy an expensive test and the result is the same, if not stronger.

March 26, 2008 I have our first ultrasound and when I get up after not seeing anything yet, I bleed and bleed. My doctor told me I had had a miscarriage but I was okay because I knew that meant I could get pregnant.

April 8, 2008 I have bloodwork done to make sure everything is falling like it should so we can start trying again and after a few hours of run arounds that the machine wasn't working, they tell me my levels are over 19,000 (which should be around 100 if it was a miscarriage) and I go in for an ultrasound only to see our wonderful baby girl with a nice strong heartbeat.

Fast forward almost 2 years and here she is. She was born December 2, 2008 weighing in at 10lbs 7.5oz. I had a 4th degree tear, broken tailbone and she cracked her collarbone on the way out. She is awesome! She's 14 months right now and has learned how to stand up by herself and take off walking. She loves Blue's Clues; Ni Hao, Kai-Lan; Lazytown; and especially WWE wrestling. No talking yet, but that's next. She has her own language. LoTR style and all.

So pardon me if my theme on my blog is a bit...well, lacking, but I'm definitely new to blogging and am very opinionated, so I will try to keep things clean so my family can read and not walk away feeling dirtied lol. I know my mouth and I know how I can be.